Well done! This is step 0.1 into a very important conversation that none of us are having yet. But reading about it has intrigued you. Last night I was fortunate enough to be a part of this intriguing dining conversation. Savor Experiences (of the Secret Supper Project fame) and Krittika Sharma, Director of Death Over Dinner, India co-hosted this conversation.
Why Death over Dinner?
Death Over Dinner started out in the U.S. and has successfully seen over 100,000 dinners in 30 countries. The whole idea is to open up the conversation about death (needless to say, a major taboo) between individuals and their loved ones – be it their families, dear friends or respective partners. And any and every conversation can be forgiven at the dinner table: telling your parents you failed that math test, announcing that you’re into women and not men or even letting them know what you want them to do with your dead body when you’re just 22. At last night’s dinner, I knew one out of the seven guests. And for me, talking about Death over Dinner with complete strangers actually helped leave my inhibitions behind.
What the experience was like:
The space was mellow and inviting for conversation, there was no music. Two hanging lights supported by flickering candle flames lit the apprehensive faces of the gutsy guests who decided to embark on this adventure. Each of us first shared a recent/painful personal experience with death, and instantly empathized with each other. It was established that this is a safe place after the sharing circle. Behavior Architect Krittika Sharma was “curious to know” a lot about each guest. She coaxed us to share our thoughts and experiences while also speaking of her own. She smiled gently and blinked softly, it was an affirmation each time. It was okay to have said what we did.
What we spoke about:
We went on to speaking about pragmatism and emotion during death, anticipated vs. sudden death, rituals around death and religion, gender roles and societal behavior in the event of losing someone, how we would like to be remembered and lots, lots more. All this while eating a scrumptious “Cycle of Life” menu designed and created by Chef Sushil Multani.
My takeaway:
I took away multiple things as I walked home after the conversation. A chill in the air. My head full of thoughts and questions. A conversation with our near and dear ones is important. But active steps must be taken by you to be remembered the way you want to be remembered. Last night I revealed that I want to be remembered “as someone who followed his heart and made people smile wherever he went.”
What would you write in your own obituary?
To join us for a Death over Dinner, get in touch.
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